Mental Health: How can we improve the bad days without the clichés ?

Posted on by 30-something Posted in UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , ,

Mental health is a state of mental well-being that enables people to cope with the stresses of life, realize their abilities, learn well and work well, and contribute to their community. It is an integral component of health and well-being that underpins our individual and collective abilities to make decisions, build relationships and shape the world we live in. Mental health is a basic human right. And it is crucial to personal, community and socio-economic development.

World Health Organisation (WHO)

My experience

I have limited experience of poor mental health compared to some, but it is something that in recent years I try to pay more attention to; both my own and others’.

I have lived with depression for some time now, the majority of days are good, but there are bad days. For the most part, it is managed well with medication and it doesn’t get in the way of every day life, bar the odd day.

For me, a bad day looks like:

  • Complete lack of motivation
  • Binging, usually eating and spending; followed by guilt… And more binging
  • Poor hygiene and no effort into my appearance
  • Talking down to myself, belittling any justification I may have for feeling down
  • Being a bit of a b***h to those closest to me

I often feel like I am watching it happen, like it’s not happening to me… There are three voices (not literally) at play. The pep talker, trying to get me off the sofa to go for that walk that I know will make me feel better; the enabler, sometimes helpful, letting me know its ok to be sad sometimes, but sometimes just gives me too much room to wallow; and then usually the loudest is the bully, looking in from the outside at the mess of a human sat there in a pathetic heap.

I’ve learnt a few things over time:

  • There’s nothing wrong with having a bad day… I allow myself a full day, if that’s what I need then I take it. But if I wake up the next day feeling the same, I will do my best to take action.
  • Just saying it out loud helps, I always tell my husband. Just simply, “I’m sad today” or “Today is a bad day”, over time he has also learnt how best to support me. He doesn’t lay on 20 questions or go about fixing me, he just acknowledges me and gives me a cuddle. Then encourages me to do some of the things in this list the next day.
  • Fresh air really helps, taking the dog for a walk is best. Low level exercise, fresh air, a little training with the pup and maybe some easy polite conversation with another dog walker. Plus, it’s an achievement. But if I can’t even face that, just sitting in the garden in my PJs for 10 minutes; or opening the curtains, and letting some air in.
  • Eating real food helps, if I’m not up to cooking, I’ll shamelessly invite myself to one of my sister’s and get in on what they’re having!
  • The single best way to get out of my funk is to achieve something, no matter how small.
  • A bit of self care goes a long way, I find a bath makes me worse, but a hot shower with a body scrub feels like literally scrubbing it away. Feeling and smelling food with clean hair makes a real difference. I also indulge in a little Headspace, I use the app alot to get to sleep, but there are some other really useful 1 or 2 minute meditations that can help me reset (not sponsored, I wish!).
  • Know your safe people; I am lucky to have a couple and when I know I’m having a bad day, I’ll either invite them over or meet them. Not necessarily to talk it out, I might not even let them know it’s a bad day, but just being around them is a help.

Further Reading:

Thanks for reading 😁 As always, your thoughts are welcome.

How do you get through a bad day?

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